Archive for May 2008
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces
height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and
shouts, ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet him
half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.’
The man below says, ‘Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, Hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees
North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.’
‘You must be a programmer,’ says the balloonist.
‘I am,’ replies the man. ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ says the balloonist, ‘everything you have told me is Technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the fact
is I am still lost.’
The man below says, “You must be a project manager.”
‘Yes, I am,’ replies the balloonist, ‘but how did you know?’
‘Well,’ says the man, ‘you don’t know where you are, or where You are
going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and you
expect me to solve your problem.’
In the wake of two shocking incidents that took place in Bangalore and Hyderabad, couples committing suicide because of extra-marital affairs with their colleagues, I just thought of writing a small article on how to avoid such incidents. This is really a serious matter and if not dealt on at an early stage could lead to such incidents in our personal life too. I have done research on human behavior and psychology and am trying to put-in some text which may (or may not) be helpful to you. Never-the-less I feel it’s worth knowing such things and if possible every individual can make a conscious effort to more or less follow the same.
Some people don’t take advice but taking good advice may do you no harm. Thos who are not married this is the best article as before starting a new relationship if you are ready for it, will only help you to lead a happy life.
We spend 40/45/50/60 hours a week with our colleagues. This is the most we spend with any members of our family. So it’s obvious they are an integral part of our life. Good, understood. But an important point to remember is colleagues are colleagues and not friends and if you think they are friends then you are highly mistaken. Imagine working together for 9 hours a day together and then returning home and continuing to talk with your colleague on phone. This is what happened with that Infosys guy who could not stand this behavior of his wife and killed her and committed suicide. Which husband would like his wife talking on phone with her colleague and that too male counterpart? Or which wife will like her husband doing the same? Just keep yourself in that situation and see. Anger will creep in within you.
So whatever gossip or topic you want to discuss with your colleagues do it during office hours and once you are out of office forget about your work and your colleagues unless it’s official matter.
Just check this unnecessary talk…
A guy and her colleague walking out of office at 6.30p.m. At 7.30 or 8.00 the guy calls that female,
Guy: Hi, how are you? Where have you reached? (Don’t you know how she is and where she must be at this time)
Lady: I am fine. Reached home.
Guy: What are you cooking today?
Lady: So and so (Now here the lady knows that the guy has called to flirt with her and the call is unnecessary. It’s the duty of the female to say something to avoid that guy. If she doesn’t at this stage then this call will be going for another 30-45 mins and questions like ‘When will you be taking bath? What time you will sleep? What will you bring for me for breakfast for tomorrow will creep in?’ and imagine the state of the family members of that lady at this point.
They expect the lady to come and talk with them for sometime but here this lady is enjoying a talk with the guy with whom she has been working since morning. No wonder such people will have a horrendous married life.
A simple thing to think about. Say you are not married. You go to office and come back say at 6.00 in the evening. You have so much of time left. Can’t you read some books and increase your knowledge rather than spending one-two hours on mobile. Girls can start experimenting with new dishes. Main thing to understand is such gossiping on calls becomes on habit and bad habits die-hard. You will be addicted to talking and this can be bad as time goes on. One you start working you have to come out of college life. In college you could enjoy, flirt, do anything you wanted. But this is real life. Be responsible or else you will be responsible for your terrible life and the life if your husband/wife.
Any person no matter who he/she is would never like his/her wife/husband having such relationship with her/his colleagues.
Last year 90% of divorce happened because of Extra-Marital Affairs and in that 80% because of relationships with colleagues. And we would not like this to happen with us. So start from now.
Guys see to it that you don’t put an habit of calling you female-colleagues after office hours or on weekends or holidays, even if they provoke you or give missed calls. Let them spend time with their family members or other friends. You also do the same. Good girls don’t give missed calls. And girls who give I need not say what kind of girls they are. Stay away from them. You can talk as much as you want in office. And gals, if any guy calls you then it’s not bad to say ‘No, Let’s talk in office’ or ‘I am busy, talk with you tomorrow’ to that guy. Do it twice and they will automatically stop calling. Guys have this habit of flirting and you allowing them to flirt will only help them do more. Relationships can always be maintained in right manner. Never succumb to emotional pressure like ‘You don’t want to talk with me or what’ or ‘You can call him but you can’t call me’ or ‘You talk for so and so time with her but with me only this much’. Some people fall for this because they don’t want to lose a friend. Again I say colleague is not a friend. They are just here to work and keep on moving in their life. They go to other company, go for growth and so on. They will not wait for you in the same office to be with you forever. So don’t be emotionally attached with your colleagues. They are competitors and always on their toes to show you down in front of seniors and managers. You may not realize now but this is a fact, be ready for it.
Imagine a girl getting married and someone says to her to be husband, that guy over there is the one who regularly calls your wife or your wife gives missed calls or calls that guy. Always this thing will remain on the back of his mind. Similarly someone tells the bride that your groom always keeps calling that girl or vice-versa…. Imagine yourself at that place. Situations arise because we allow them to. No one can lead ideal life but we can always make an sincere effort to lead one.
Another note to be taken about: (strictly male to female and female to male contexts)
If your colleague calls you. Just check out whether if he calls others also. If he doesn’t then find out why? No guy will call other girl if he is not interested in that girl. In a group there can be five females but it’s not necessary that a guy calls all five. He will only call the one on whom he is interested.
Similarly, a girl will not give missed call to everyone. If she gives then she must be really lonely. Stay away from them or you will be caught in their loving talk. Guys normally fall for girls because of their beauty or their talk. So if a guy colleague comes to you and proposes you then it’s not his mistake completely, it’s more of yours because you were the one who used to give him that space.
Also you become a topic of gossip among your fellow colleagues if they come to know that one of their colleague is calling you and not calling others. And there is nothing more dangerous than office gossip. It can cost you your job and just remember how easily you got this job.
So please keep your office and it’s people at office and lead a normal happy life. For your good and for the good of your spouse. Send it to your colleagues, friends, relatives, parents and everyone and avoid incidents like the one mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you feel anyone is doing anything mentioned above then just go and tell him/her. You will be helping someone in their life.
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: “Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”
Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.”
Woman: I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance): “Lady, I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida.”
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store Owner: “Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”
Boy: “No thanks,
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!”
This is what we call “Self Appraisal“.
Guy 1: Machan Naan romba upset ah irukan da
Guy 2: Yaen da veetla edhuna problema???
Guy 1: Illa da nethu slate vaanga spencer poirundhan, anga oru sema figure, sumar ondra vayasu irkum avanga amma madila paduthu vaila virala vachutu enna paathu oru look vituche paaru… iyyoooooooo…….
Guy 2: appram enna aachu???
Guy 1: Appram enna… enga appan adha paathutu poramaila en thalaila narukunu oru kottu vachan, kovathula rendu naala na cerelakkuda sapduradhu illa….
Guy 2: Indha appangalae ippadithanda poramaila alaivanga… nee dont worry machan nalaiku andha ponna thottiloda thukrom!!!
EXTREME OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each
EXTREME OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.
EXTREME OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.
EXTREME OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.
EXTREME OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a ‘Send All.’
EXTREME OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting
EXTREME OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself.
EXTREME OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded
back to you by some one in the receiving chain.
EXTREME OF BROWSING:
You are swimming in the water tank and shout “F1 F1 F1?” instead of shouting “HELP” when u are unable to swim..
EXTREME OF MY FRIENDSHIP:
I always mail, u don’t.
EXTREME OF HAVING NO WORK:
You reading such mails. NT00007A9E
It was a sports stadium.
Eight Children were standing on the track to
Participate in the running event.
* Ready! * Steady! * Bang!!!
With the sound of Toy pistol, all eight girls started running.
Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the
smaller girls slipped
And fell down,
Due to bruises and pain she started crying.
When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped
running, stood for a while and
Turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down.
One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired
‘Now pain must have reduced’. All seven girls lifted the
fallen girl, pacified Her, two of them held the girl firmly
and then all seven joined hands Together and walked
together and reached the winning post.
Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of
spectators filled the stadium.
Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it
had reached the GOD even!
YES. This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently!
The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental
All these special girls had come to participate in this event
and they are Spastic children.
Yes, they were mentally retarded Challenged.
What did they teach this world?
Equality among all?????
Successful people help others who are slow in learning so
that they are not Felt far behind. This is really a great
message… spread it!
Let we have the same feeling of TEAM WORK< HUMANITY
Power of Positive Talk by Abdul kalam
I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.
My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.
This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.
My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.
Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.
The point is made.
If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”
People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.
Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ” I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”
If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.
But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure.
If: Presupposes that you may not.
Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!” Likely result: Drops the ball Better language: “Catch the ball!”
Toxic phrase: “You shouldn’t watch so much television.” Likely result: Watches more television. Better language: “I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!”
Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.