Collections of Dilip Prakash

Jappier’s jokes

Posted on: January 21, 2008

Don’t miss this..it’s really funny

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier;
Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing
colleges, always speaks in English. That college students have
collected & published a book by name “Jappier’s Spoken English”

…. Njoy ………..with his……… …..English. ……… ….

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
“Jappier’s
Spoken English”

# At the ground:
———— —–
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs
please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
———— ———
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
———— ——— —
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late – say YES or NO ……(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt
this )

———— ——— —
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to
wear …. remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the
campus

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose
today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ….

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,
the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am
late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the
enjoy”

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police “

VERY IMPORTANT : ok enjoy this English, but dont forget your English
!!

2 Responses to "Jappier’s jokes"

There’s a few more that I have. Myth has it that it originated in my alma mater.
Teacher angry at student’s poor answer sheet: “Your answer paper is full of blank words!”
Teacher punishing a student: “Go and stand in the middle of the corner”
Chemistry Prof asking to student to pour the chemical slowly instead of rapidly: “Don’t Pour! Just pooouur..”

Actually this is all old college jokes on professors. Not Jappiers. I’know b.cos Jappiers english is far worse than this.

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