Collections of Dilip Prakash

What is true love?

Posted on: December 14, 2007

What is true love? 

I can picture the day.
Rice flying, a limo pulling up to take her and me to the airport,
white clusters of flowers on the pews,
tears in my eyes, in lavender chiffon….
Oops. That’s an important part, huh?


It’s a commonly thrown around four-letter word.
“I love macaroni and cheese.”

“I love Vanilla Ice.”
(Remember that?)

Sometimes, even an
“I love him”
“I love her.”
What is real love?
And is there a difference between that and the
heart-pounding adrenaline rush I feel when I see…?
You know the person I’m talking about.
That hot guy playing basketball at the gym…
the cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes by…
the friend of a friend of a friend…
maybe a best friend.
It’s that person we keep track of when he or she
is in the same room,
whose comments and actions we analyze to no end.
There are a few things love isn’t.
Love isn’t a feeling.
Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings,
love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds.
Unlike the type of love that movies, television,
and songs portray, people in love don’t
always feel ooey gooey around each other.
A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions.
In fact, knowledge is the basis
of a healthy relationship.
Knowing about the other person is key.
I used to and sometimes still do
“fall in love”
with girl that I have never had a conversation with,
whether it be a movie star in the latest romantic
drama or the girl sitting behind me in a class.
I would know his name and his face,
and that was the extent of my knowledge of her.
If I were to start a relationship with her,
who knows where that would lead us!
Knowing about the person’s personality and
character are so important.
One good test is to list the qualities that attract
us to that guy or girl.
If the list is long, we know a lot
about them and like those things.
If the list is short,
we either don’t know a lot about them or
we know a lot but aren’t attracted to his or her personality.
Another important factor in a
relationship is common life goals.

If the relationship is going to be long term,
we need to be going in the same
general direction as the other person.
If his dream is to travel as an international
businessman and she wants to be a realtor in a single location,
conflict could arise.
If she wants to live in the
countryside with nature and he likes the hustle
and bustle of a big city,
there are potentially serious problems
with the direction of the couple’s lives.
Love isn’t sex.
That statement alone goes against a lot
of what the entertainment industry feeds us.
Whenever two people hook up in pop culture,
they have sex.
Without showing some of the unpleasant realities
of premarital and extramarital sex,
it is drawn up to be a wonderful,
fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage–
a long-lasting commitment
between a couple.
Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences.
Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt,
insecurity, and shame can follow.
A relationship based on lust can only last
as long as the two are physically close
and find each other sexually attractive.
Love is a choice. It’s a commitment.
Although feelings will accompany love, and although
sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting,
healthy relationship cannot be based on these things.
The Bhagwat Geeta, Kuran & Bible says that
God is love.
God, as our designer and creator,
made us with needs for love.
Do you ever wonder why we constantly seek love from others
but never feel completely satisfied?
It’s because God designed us for an
unconditional love, and we, as people, are flawed.
People, whether friends, family,
or your significant other,
will invariably let you down at some point.
God wants us to find our need for
love and acceptance in him first.
One person cannot meet all our needs,
even if he’s funny or she’s thoughtful.
We were made for God’s love,
and God’s love alone can fill that need.
Only after experiencing and knowing the
unconditional love that God has for us,
the love that drove God to send his Son to die for us on earth,
can we begin to love others with the same quality of unconditional love.
What does it take to be that significant other?
Sees the other person as perfect
Wants to get own needs met; selfish
Spends all time with the other person
Quickly “falls” for the other person
Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
Dependence on the other person causes
Jealousy frequently
Lasts for a short period of time
Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship
Quarrels are serious and common
Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship

Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
Wants to serve the other person; selfless
Still spends time with others
Takes time to build the relationship
Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy
Encompasses a long-term commitment
Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance
Quarrels are less serious and less often
Quarrels can strengthen the relationship
Infatuation can be so tempting.
But the question is, do I want a lasting,
satisfying relationship?
If so, infatuation isn’t the answer.
Look at your relationships through the grid above.
Infatuation isn’t a bad thing,
as long as we don’t base a relationship on it.
Perhaps finding real love begins with God,
the one who created relationships.
Now making relationship is also difficult one,

1 Response to "What is true love?"

I like it, true lines straight from my hearth and you give it a form of words. Thank you
Hamid Ali
I need your response

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